Broken Trees and Memories

“If we live happily enough we might just forget that there’s gravity.”

If you had to divide your life up into chapters, but couldn’t name them after geographic locations or levels of education, what would they be?

A few weeks ago, I tried texting a friend, but she gave me a wrong number, and I ended up texting some other girl who’d just graduated from UCSD. 

And its kinda cool because we don’t know each other’s names or anything about each other. But we still asked each other really personal questions. Like who we’d take to a deserted island and stuff like that. 

This was a question I asked her, and her answer blew my mind. I don’t remember everything she said, but among them were:

“Rebel” “Jail” and “Desert.”

Its a lot harder than you’d think to come up with these things. 

RIP Charlie Harper.

And thank God for fall TV show premieres this week.  

Ago.

Facebook start doing this thing where it shows statuses I posted a year, and even two years ago. 

And its so weird seeing them and looking back on them. 

I can’t believe its been so long since those things happened. I can’t believe I was actually friends with some of those people and actually posted statuses about them. I can’t believe that I thought everyone on Facebook gave a shit about my inside jokes and who I hung out with.

But its also just weird looking at it and thinking about now. I’m 10,000 miles away from the seat I posted those statuses in. I have a bunch of new friends who I spend the entire day with. 

And most of all, that I’m getting used to now.

Alone.

For the last 18 years of my life, I’ve woken up in my home, gone to school for the entire day, and then come back home and spent the rest of the day with my family. 

There was never any time in my schedule for actually being alone. Actually, I don’t think we really even knew what being alone meant. Alone would be sitting at home on a weekend finishing homework, or being the only person left at the lunch table while everyone else was getting lunch.

But now that college has started, it feels like we’ve been thrown off a cliff and are being told to fly. Its so weird being miles away from my family. Its so weird having nobody to fall back on when stuff doesn’t go right. Its so weird having free time, but no really close friends to mess around with in that time. 

I really miss home. and you.